Monday, 7 November 2011

Who's Mom is that?

My Mom is so old school that she doesn't even drive. That's right! She never got a licence to drive. Now in today's world everyone gets a licence at some point but in my Mom's world, nope. When Dad was away and we were not old enough to drive we took the bus. For everything.
Does anyone else remember when there was a Miracle Food Mart at the Scarborough Town Centre? I can. Well on a fine fall day Mom and I got aboard the McCowan 16 Bus to the Scarborough Town Centre to get some groceries with her collapsable bundle buggy in tow.
You know this story has disaster written all over it. Me, mom, a packed bus and a buggy full of groceries can never lead to something good.
That day we were on our way back home and found ourselves at the back of the bus. After a few stops the bus was full. Mom sat there in centre of the back row with her buggy full of food between her legs. Then the bus stopped suddenly. The people standing on the bus swayed and did that hop that people do on the bus to regain their footing. As this was happening unbeknownst to us, Mom's buggy was on a gravity shift of its own.
This is when things went fuzzy. I remember seeing apples and cabbage rolling up the aisle and through peoples legs like a PLINKO game. I remember hearing my Mom screaming at me to grab her turnip as she when face first crawling up the aisle between peoples legs in search of her food.
Do you all remember that first time that you rolled your eyes in embarrassment by one of your parents. I do. I was on the McCowan 16 and my Mother was crawling around the bus in search of a turnip.
What I remember most about that day was not the mortification that I felt. It wasn't that raw pain that a young teenager feels when their parents horrifically embarrass them by doing something crazy like crawling around a bus calling a turnip. What I remember most about that day was that if you focus long and hard enough, you won't shit your pants from embarrassment. You can wait till you get off the bus, give that crazy lady with the groceries getting off behind you a dirty look before you go home and die.

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