Monday, 7 November 2011

The Nest

I have so many memories of growing up in Scarborough. Before is was the hood of the nation it really was a beautiful place to raise a family. In my neighbourhood alone there had to be hundreds of kids. Our winters spent tobogganing down the 3 hills by the 3 white buildings and the summers meant hours in the pool, crabapple wars and the all around kinda trouble that makes movies like "Stand By Me" seem more like a memory than a movie.
We never found a body but it wasn't for lack of trying. We often spent entire days looking for something out of the ordinary. Our crowd was large, we dressed only in swimwear and we had fun.
I recall one hot summer morning. It was that lazy kinda hot that meant most of us didn't even make it over the hill to the neighbourhood pool. It was late morning and my dad was washing his giant white car while my brother and the older kids were up to no good.
There was a hornet's nest under a chair on the balcony of a first floor apartment in the building. Now I may have been 7 and only wearing a red speedo and a mesh muscle shirt but I knew this was not a good idea. As my brother and his little buddies approached the nest I had visions of the works of them getting consumed by the savage beasts! I was not even close to them as they attempted to.... I don't even know what they were going to do but there was about 10 little boys, a coat hanger and sultry heat, a man 200ft away washing his giant car and the tanned little gay kid in his speedo and mesh muscle shirt way off in the distance.
Then I remember one word being uttered before all hell broke loose. RUN! Billy screamed this word as he and his buddies all took off in different directions. For a brief moment I felt validated as this scenario went exactly as I had predicted. Then I realized what that noise was... there was this intense hum in my head and i was suddenly getting stung all over my head and my exposed belly. I was now a stinging playground for the angered hornets! Sweet Jesus I was in the middle of the swarm. I was literally being attacked by the entire swarm.
As I have stated twice before my Father was washing his car and like all children afraid and in pain I ran to my Father. He saw me running toward him. He also saw me covered in hornets so like all recipients of the Father of The Year Award, he jumped in the car, locked the door and told me to get my mother!
At this point mom was already outside hearing all the screaming and commotion and all I remember after that is her hitting me repeatedly, not to punish me but to kill the hornets! As i was being stung repeatedly mom was slapping me in the head and stomach. It was just a huge mess.
The irony of this whole story is that I was the one who knew better. I was not going to mess with the hornets. I was also probably to busy wondering if I looked fat in my speedo and mesh muscle shirt to realize that a giant cloud of hornets was coming at me!
Lesson learned here is obvious. Never wear a mesh muscle shirt.

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